What If...

Life is so funny… Sometimes I just want to laugh as much as I want to cry. Sometimes, I told myself that I have actually taken enough out of life, so even if I died today, I don’t think I would have any regrets... Some of you would utter, perhaps in the weeks, months, or years to come, I would like to be a good ‘wife’ a good ‘mother’, or probably a good ‘ grandma’ … Well, It’s hard to even imagine how a selfish girl like me can be a ‘good’ wife, a ‘good’ mother, or worse yet, a ‘good’ grandmother. Hmm… I don’t think I am good enough to proudly embrace these titles…

In my life, I've always wanted to leave this world with the smile on my face, you know. At least, before I turned invisible, I would like to spend the last day that I have on this planet with my prince Charming gazing at the twinkling stars together, and bid this world goodbye with my head resting on his shoulder and my lifeless body in his embrace…

Anyway, silly as I may sound, I guess I can only come up with such non-sense thoughts when the heartbreaking incident hasn’t actually surfaced. I don’t think I am ‘that’ brave to die ‘young’, and I don’t think I am ‘that’ strong to leave my loved ones, my beloved family, my great friends, and my dear prince behind... I can’t afford to even imagine what it would be like when I suddenly disappeared from this planet... because there are so many things I wish to do, but remain undone, and I would never have the chance to do so, if I really had to depart. Boy, I am still 'young'! Well, I still 'feel' young hehe... [I still watch Barbie movie series :P] Who wouldn't fear of death? the suicide terrorists? hmm..., but I am not them, I am just me, an ordinary girl who is living her life the way she thinks she should.

So, all I want for now is just to continue living my modest life to its fullest and do things that are worth doing while I can. I was born into this planet, and I believe I am meant to be 'here'. If I wasn't, I would have gone to heaven since the time I was in the car accident 3 years back then. In fact, I am not as fearless as I just uttered. I was terrified to the max thinking that I was going to die lol...

I'm glad i am still breathing... I'm grateful that I still have the chance to inhale oxygen like everybody else, and to make it short, I am glad that I am still alive...